


Ne Regrette Rien

by threewalls



Series: Schirra [76]
Category: Final Fantasy XII
Genre: 714 OV, Archades, Balfonheim, Break Up, Epistolary, F/M, Politics, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-23
Updated: 2008-03-23
Packaged: 2017-10-14 09:31:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/147839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threewalls/pseuds/threewalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They both knew this wasn't forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ne Regrette Rien

**Author's Note:**

> Almost meta-fic, prompted by mariagoner asking my Larsa and Penelo about the breakup I have frequently mentioned was coming.

Penelo has always been well aware that our arrangement was to be a temporary one. I have loved her too dearly to ever misrepresent the suit I offered. From the first, in the very discussion in which I broached the topic of what would become our arrangement, I impressed upon her vigorously that, though she was, and remains, one of the loveliest women of my acquaintance, the responsibilities of my rank and station would prohibit me from marrying her. For her part, Penelo hesitated to become a citizen of the Empire that had so recently overshadowed the kingdom of her birth.

The possibility remained of a relationship of a less certain legal status, which we agreed that we would undertake until I attained the age of majority, as I sought to establish my rule, and in time, investigate prospective empresses. As dear to me as Penelo's companionship and irreverent perspective sincerely were, her ambiguous legal status within my household provided me with equally appreciated political "breathing space", free from both the pressure to contract what could be an o'er hasty marriage but also freedom from particular unkind insinuations about what motivates Gabranth to guard my personal safety as ably as he does.

There was always the understanding that I wanted only the best for Penelo. Marriage was not mine to offer, but whatever else in my power, I did endeavour to provide. Thus, when I learnt that she and Vaan had become more than the friends I had always assumed them to be, I accelerated my search for a bride, so that I could release her to Vaan and their mutual happiness. So I explained to her after settling on a wife, earlier than she had expected.

I learnt then that I had mistook both Penelo's attachment to myself and Vaan, as she took the opportunity I offered by leaving my bed, but not my household, and taking up a brief engagement in my Judge Magister's quarters. It is my understanding that she remains unmarried at present, though I hope she may one day enjoy that security that marriage may offer a woman.

I would naturally regret any harm I may have caused to Penelo, as such was sincerely not my wish. The love I bear her has been tempered innocent by time and the felicity of my marriage, and my house and my protection remain, as always, open to her and her desires.

His excellency, Larsa Ferrinas Solidor, in the 8th year of his reign and the 15th indiction.

***

I don't like to hold onto regrets. The past's past, and we're here now.

I can't say I wasn't cut up when I showed up that day, ready to fall into Larsa's arms, and he just smiled, patted my hand and told me he was engaged now. I could be Vaan's now. After asking him to repeat himself a few times to make sure... I didn't know whether to cry or hit him. Thankfully, I didn't do either. At least, I didn't cry until it was just me and Basch.

But still, we had some good times, me and Larsa. He likes some pretty strange things, and apparently, so do I. I'm not sure I would have guessed without him. Can't imagine Vaan blurting out of the blue that he wanted to tie me up. Not to mention that learning to stand up to Larsa and draw lines in the sand about what's going to happen when we're together, well, if I can stand up to the Emperor of Archadia, then I can take on anyone, right? And having shifted our family to Balfonheim just now, I can say that comes in handy.

It's funny. None of the weird and crazy ways Larsa wanted to fuck me-- or avoid literally fucking me, more usually (I still thank Galtea that Vaan's all over straight up fucking; I swing normal *and* strange, unlike some people) -- made me feel like he didn't respect me. But that last "interview" was something else. I'd thought we were friends, but no, I was just staff.

Anyway-- Larsa's in my past. Vaan and the kids are my future. I love my kids, all of them, carried or found. Vaan and I were lucky after the war, so were Filo and Kytes, Ruby and Johm and the others. We had Migelo looking out for us. I'd want to do that, to help, but these aren't just some kids. They're good kids, they're my kids, they're just amazing. I know not everyone wants to hear a new mama go on about her kids, so I won't. But I could have stayed in Archades, sure, and been childless. That, I think I would regret.

\--Penelo


End file.
